Abductions

We have a resident neighbourhood crazy-person! Yup, I came across him 3 times in one week, every time just a few steps from my building front door, and have seen him a few times since then.

He hasn't approached me for anything yet, but I might give him a dollar to get a photo of his sign. He has a sign hanging from his neck that reads:

Who is going to bear witness to the fact

that I have been abducted by aliens

and had a microchip implanted in my brain?